


Why The Fcuk Did We Decide This Was A Good Idea

by Berryblasha



Series: idiot productions stupidly presents... [2]
Category: Splatoon
Genre: Gen, Multi, The X-Blood has a groupchat, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berryblasha/pseuds/Berryblasha
Summary: The X-Blood in a group chat =  chaosbut that didn't stop Red Sole from making one.or Double Egg from spaming memes.or Omega from confusing the heck out of everysquid.or Vintage from wishing he was never born.
Relationships: Double Egg/Specs (Splatoon) Implied, Emperor/Vintage (Splatoon) Implied, Omega/Red Sole (Splatoon), Team X-Blood (Splatoon) - Relationship
Series: idiot productions stupidly presents... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082831
Kudos: 6





	1. Hi, Yes, Hello, What The Fucketh.

**Red Sole has created: X-Blood chaos**

**Red Sole has added Omega**

**Red Sole has added Double Egg**

**Red Sole has added Vintage**

Vintage: What

Omega: The

Double Egg: Tomato sauce

Red Sole: Hi!!!!

Vintage: Red Sole what the actual fuck is this????

Red Sole: A groupchat!!!!!!!

Red Sole: So we can spam eachother with useless crap!!!!!

Double Egg: Okay then, ~~totallynotcursedmario.png~~

Omega: what the fuck?????

Red Sole: *instant regret

Vintage: I need eye bleach

Double Egg: wait

Double Egg: we can change names!?

Omega: red sole please remove his admin controls-

Double Egg: _too late_

**Double Egg has changed three names**

idiot lesbian: ...

idiot lesbian 2: fuck you

rat guy: fuck you

rat guy: okay i just passed omega's room are you okay your face looks really red-

idiot lesbian: adhasjakgakgvkdgvkdhgvd

idiot lesbian 2: is that a no???? yes????? 

Double Egg: are u having a stroke????

idiot lesbian: aldjslkhfkashfjhgf

idiot lesbian 2: kay guess omega's dead now

idiot lesbian 2: also why is my name this???

Double Egg: _@idiot lesbian_

idiot lesbian 2: but i'm bi- wAIT WHAT- uh 

Double Egg: oh sorry i thought- well- yeah.

rat guy: wait you guys aren't dating????

idiot lesbian 2: no

**Double Egg changed idiot lesbian 2's name to dumb bisexual 2**

dumb bisexual 2: i mean thanks for the name change but

**dumb bisexual 2 changed Double Egg's name to egg**

egg: fuck you

dumb bisexual 2: now we're even >:)

**idiot lesbian has left the chat**

**rat guy has left the chat**

**egg has left the chat**

**dumb bisexual 2 has left the chat**


	2. *insert good chapter name here caus im lazy

**Saturday, 1:00 am**

idiot lesbian: If we have no bones, how r we standing???

rat guy: omega what the actual fuck

rat guy: also why r u awake?!

idiot lesbian: i can't sleeeeeeeep

idiot lesbian: aren't we just all brains in meat suits

idiot lesbian: our ink colors shouldn't even be able to exist because our ancestors ink was black 

idiot lesbian: the moon is kind of like a doughnut when you think about it more

rat guy: omega go to sleep

idiot lesbian: ǫ̸̢̤̳͇͈͈̙̿̍̐̈͋́n̶̩̩̫̞͆ę̸̝̰̳̀̽͂̑̈́̽͒͠ ̴̨̦̏̒́̿̉̍̕d̷̬̉̒̍͒̓ä̶̬̖̲̲̰́͗͂̌͝y̶͕͔̜̹͋̓̈́̌͋̕ ̸̨͙͇͈̰̟̻̗̀̕ͅͅy̸̫̳͎͌̆͛̎̏̔͠ò̷̫͓͔̖̇̃͑̂̈̚u̷̢̺̠̥̥͍͒'̸̨̛̛̠̏́͋̓̚̚ļ̵̠̣̹̤̜͍͖̍̇̔̈̔͜͝͝ľ̵̨̢̘̙̗̳̞̫̻̬̾̅̓ ̸̣͓̊̒̕ĉ̵̢̧͉̹̞̝͎̖̾̄̽̽̔̅o̶̻͇̝̟̮̯͖͓͚̰͂̕m̸̑̋̏̆̎͐͘͜͠e̵̩̣̲̝̝͇̞̯̲̅ ̶͚̺̖̽͒̾͐̎ͅf̴̘̺̰̌̈́̆̀̒̒̚͘͝ͅa̶͙̭̱̥͌̓̏c̶̡̛̼e̸̡̡̨̫͙͓͖͍̲͛̑̿̎͗̑ ̷̱͍̹͕͚̃͋̌͐͌̂̍̒́͝ṫ̸̡̢̢̖̦̺̻̆̈̈́̅̏̌̈́͌ͅo̶̙̫̝̭̬͕̊̓̄̎͛̔͂̌̈́ ̸̢̻̮̄f̶͙̪̋̿͛̓̋͋͝͠a̸̡̡̹̼̩̱͔̹͂̈́̑̕͝ç̸̼̝͉̄͐͆̌͐̉̑ę̶̢͉̠̠̰̻̖͌̄͆ ̵̯͈̪͓͔̫̦̣̦̽̐̋̚͝w̶͇̗̹̞͎̬̖͎͓̠̒̾͋̓͐i̴͖̲̲͕̟̦̹̍̂̌͝͝ͅẗ̴̙̤̑̑̈́̋̂̕h̷̟͍̹̙̀͑͐ ̶̻͓̝̲̒w̷̹̻̥̟̖͌̈́̿͐̐̓̽ͅh̴͉̰̯͆̓̎̈́a̸̗͎̙͕͇͑͘t̶̨̨̘̬̰̳̝̺̦̒̒̄́͜ë̸̡̱̬̜̖̥̤̞̗́v̸̘͉̘͌͌̓̌̀̑̀ė̷̛̗̖̼̰͎̰̪̾͂͆̈͝ṟ̶̘̣͓͎̘͖̀̊͂͆̈́ ̸̨̨̪͋̀̇̑͆̂̏s̵̨͎͍͓͍̺̲͉̔̾̏͜ḁ̸̂̓̿̊͆͊̏̚͝w̵̱̱͎̒̇̃͆͗̍͋́̔ ̸̫̪̠͚̼͔̰̎ͅy̵̧̨͓̤̞̪̋͑̇̔͆̍̎ǫ̶͔̥̇͐u̶̖̞͚͉͙̐̕͜ ̴̮͚̽̚͠f̴̡̬͓̤̲̯̥̣̿͑̐ḯ̵͍̗̥̜͗̓ṭ̸̻̉̉͑̀͛̎̍̚͝ ̷̨̛̥̰͕̳͍͉̼͆͐͐̓̓̒͠ţ̸̰̰̗̟̱̖̬͖́̎́͗͗̎̎̚ǫ̸̡̛̩̜̞̮̟̲̪̳͒͋̿̈̌̐̅͘ ̶̢̭͓̝͚͓͍̂͑̄̊͝͠l̷̺͈̳̠͈̈́͋į̶̛̠̥̣͑͑̒͗͑̚v̶̥̦̗͍̞̟͇̘̄̈́͐̈́̄̒̽͌̃̍ẹ̵̢̜̬̟̏̒͆͋͜ ̷͉̖̊̓̓͗̌͠ȋ̸̞̯̐n̴̡̯̖̘̓̆͒̈̾̃͘ ̸̨̢̟̘͚̖̳͒̌̎t̴̡͕͋̔̿͗̅h̴̬͍̰̗̻̹͆̃̇̐̄̋͜i̸̫̺̖̫̟̜̠̠̐̽͂͜s̸̮̉̓̑̿ ̶͚̲̥̖̝͉͚̄͑͗̉w̶̧̓͗̓̓̀̑͑̑o̴̱̩̝̣͇̞͌̄̇̃̒̎͝ŗ̶̦͇̤͓͓̎̉͂̆ͅl̷̡̲͕̙̠͉̲̥͕̰̔̏͊͐͑͝͠d̴̗͓̊̐̀̄͊̓́̚͝,̴̦̭͍̤̮̞͔͐͑̏̈́͌͝͝ ̶̛̞̒̒̑̎̈́̎̈̅â̶̡̛̯̻̲̑̇̏̓̚͠n̸͇̯̫͐̍̅̿̽̅̀͠ḑ̵̱̦̪̭͔͕̌̃ ̷̡̗̰͋̂̋̐͌̏͌̕͠y̵̞̠̬̘͕̮̼̯̜̏̈́̎͛̈́͆͒̀̄͜ō̵̡̞̤̠͙̓̒̌͌̑͘u̴̺͖͍͔̥̙̇̑̌̊̐̓͠͝'̵̰̝̘̻̍͆̈́͒͝l̴̻̩͒̇̂͠ḻ̵͎͓̜̬͕̜̼̗̈́̐̋͂͗͝ͅ ̴̢̰̅͐̀̐̚͠h̷̛̯͉̯̒͋͗͑͋͐̍͘ͅa̴̭̻̬͕͆̔̊̾v̴̢̰̘͚͚̺̞͗̒́͌͐̂̽̃̀̔e̶̦͛̽̒̑͊̀͗ ̸͉͓̘͇̞̩̟͉͕̓̈́̾̆̚͝͝ţ̵͔̜͇̪̠͚͍̈͋͜o̷̲̬̥͍̮̣̯̿́̌͘ ̸̧̬͎͎̺̳͚̩̠̪̄̚͘p̶̛͉̟̓̈́̎̾̒͌͝ṛ̵͎͕̹̞̋̇̌̈́̈ọ̶̱̭̬͛̍̌͌̆̓̒̚͘͝v̴̯̥̟͔̐e̷̤͉̝̼̽͆ͅ ̷͉̯̌̔̍̈̈́̉̇̅̍͛ͅÿ̷̻̱́õ̴͍̬̖̌̒u̶͍͙̫̬̝͈̿̈́͘r̶͚̖͗͌̒̊̇̓̕ ̵̨͚̩̐̒̿̌̃̋̓͝w̷͉̎͌͒̿̆̐̈́͝ō̴͎̲̻̣̩̭̣͝r̵͇̘̪̗̗̜̦͖̤͗̆͐̌̌̄̽t̷̼̲̻̞̓͂̑̾͝͝h̶̤̱̃͗̔̽

rat guy: ~~_W H A T_~~

**idiot lesbian has left the chat**

rat guy: oh squit now i can't sleep

**rat guy has left the chat**


	3. wanna do a satanic ritual????!!!

**Monday, 3** ** am **

dumb bisexual 2: hey

idiot lesbian: what

rat guy: go the fuck to sleep

**rat guy has left the chat**

dumb bisexual 2: lol no

dumb bisexual 2: so anyways, wanna come over to my place and do a satanic ritual w/ me?

idiot lesbian: would ur parents even let you? 

dumb bisexual 2: no squid's home ;)

dumb bisexual 2: except for me. i'm home. 

egg: r u 2 gonna fuck or somethin????

idiot lesbian: WHAT NO ASDSGDFHDFHFGHFGHFGHFGF

dumb bisexual 2: WE'RE JUST DOIN A SATANIC RITUAL TO SUMMON SATAN! Nothing else ya pervert! >:(

rat guy: wait what

idiot lesbian: smh you tell us to go to sleep but ur still awake, i'm almost there btw, your house is the one with the creepy clown statue, right? 

dumb bisexual 2: yea!!!!

rat guy: omega should i be concerned

idiot lesbian: if you weren't already concerned for me by this point im rlly worrried for u vintage, also im here red sole i just knocked on the door. 

dumb bisexual 2: coming!!!

**dumb bisexual 2 has left the chat**

**idiot lesbian has left the chat**

egg: their totally gonna fuck aren't they

rat guy: i'd be surprised if they didnt


	4. .....

** Tuesday ** **, 5** ** pm **

dumb bisexual 2: hey vin, why were you and emperor so focused on eachother when we were battling blue team???

idiot lesbian: aren't they dating????

egg: yeah, same here

rat guy: WHAT NO NO NO, we're not dating!!!!! I **hate** that guy!

idiot lesbian: r u sure?

rat guy: !!!

dumb bisexual 2: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

egg: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

idiot lesbian: since every squid else is doing it i might as well, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat guy: fuck you.

**rat guy has left the chat**

dumb bisexual 2: smh how rude


	5. beep boop beep skaldele bop

_**Tuesday, 10pm** _

idiot lesbian: okay but consider the following:

idiot lesbian: carpeted kitchen,

rat guy: NO

idiot lesbian: okay you didn't need to be so rude

_**idiot lesbian has left the chat** _

egg: what

dumb bisexual 2: aren't kitchens already carpeted

rat guy: what the FUCK red sole

egg: im still confused

egg: like who the fuck wants to put a carpet in their kitchen usually im the weird one i don't like being the normal one- 

rat guy: who said you were even normal right now???

dumb bisexual 2: OOOOOOOOOO

egg: :,( vin that hurt my feelings

rat guy: fuck you

egg: alrite i was sad before but now i wanna claw ur guts out

dumb bisexual 2: fight! fight! fight!

rat guy: 3 am behind mako mart? 

egg: can it be 4 am?

rat guy: no

egg: aight

idiot lesbian: what the fuck i left for like 3 minutes

idiot lesbian: there will be no fighting behind a mako mart

dumb bisexual 2: awww....

idiot lesbian: not unless you guys tell me which one. i wanna see this. 

dumb bisexual 2: :D

rat guy: it's the one in that weird city area around the plaza and the square what do you think???

idiot lesbian: k wake me up my phone's alarm system is squitty and you're more annoying

idiot lesbian: well double egg takes the prize for most annoying but you come on second sooo

rat guy: how rude

egg: #IS VINTAGE A WHITE STARBUCKS GIRL CONFIRMED???

idiot lesbian: i-

rat guy: oh you are so getting it later at mako mart

_**rat guy has left the chat** _

idiot lesbian: i mean gn for now i guess

dumb bisexual 2: Gn to omega and omega only!! 

egg: :C 

**_ egg has left the chat _ **

**_ idiot lesbian has left the chat _ **

**_ dumb bisexual 2 has left the chat _ **


	6. lol what

** Wednesday ** **, 10** ** am **

****idiot lesbian: so uh

idiot lesbian: double how was it in jail before we bailed you out for,

idiot lesbian: "Child assault" 

rat guy: I

rat guy: AM

rat guy: NOT

rat guy: A CHILD!!!!!

dumb bisexual 2: lol tell that to the officer who caught you guys while he was grocery shopping

egg: but like

egg: who the fuck goes grocery shopping at 3am

idiot lesbian: you have a point

idiot lesbian: but the look on Specs face when i had to face time him at 3am to tell him his boyfriend got into jail was just,,,,,

idiot lesbian: Amazing. 

dumb bisexual 2: haha yeah he was soooo pissed

rat guy: well it was kinda funny

rat guy: EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THE POLICE THOUGHT I WAS 11 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!!

rat guy: IM 17!!!!!!

egg: tinytage

idiot lesbian: tinytage

dumb bisexual 2: tinytage

rat guy: did

rat guy: did you guys just add tiny to the first part of my name

egg: what do you think, tinytage?

dumb bisexual 2: yeah tinytage

idiot lesbian: tinytage. _tiny-_ tage _._ oh my cod. oooooh my cod. 

rat guy: i would fucking stab all of you if it weren't for the fact that the police know that i'm not actually a kid now. 

egg: even your sister?

rat guy: heck no, she'd stab me first. 

idiot lesbian: i agree with this statement. 

dumb bisexual 2: _**if you stab her i will summon a demon to torment you for 10,000 years.**_

idiot lesbian: that's kinda romantic <3

dumb bisexual 2: <3

rat guy: okay i take it back please just don't-

rat guy: don't kill me

rat guy: please

dumb bisexual 2: fiiiiine

dumb bisexual 2: i won't stab you

dumb bisexual 2: ~~_for now at least_~~

rat guy: **w h a t**

**dumb bisexual 2 has left the chat**

rat guy: well i'll definitely be having nightmares tonight

**rat guy has left the chat**

**idiot lesbian has left the chat**

**egg has left the chat**


	7. double egg's rein of terror has not ended

**Thursday, 2** ** pm **

egg: ~~_shrek.png_~~

rat guy: _@egg_ go to hell

idiot lesbian: i'll see you guys there then i guess. 

dumb bisexual 2: oooo! maybe we can have a picnic there once we're all dead!

rat guy: **h u h**

idiot lesbian: okay but seriously jokes aside what the fuck 

egg: ~~_sonicxshrekkiss.png_~~

rat guy: im going to do it

rat guy: i am going to chug bleach

idiot lesbian: wait! do you have another can of bleach i can chug?

dumb bisexual 2: omega pls don't chug bleach!!! 

dumb bisexual 2: i need u!!!! 

idiot lesbian: i guess i won't.

rat guy: well we both can't anyways bc we ran out of bleach. 

egg: ~~_aviatorswithoutshissunglasses_~~ ~~ _.png_~~

rat guy: though i really wish we still had some right now

idiot lesbian: _@dumb bisexual 2_ red, do you have specs's number? tell him to give his bf some holy water. 

dumb bisexual 2: no buuuut i know bobble hat's number

rat guy: how come?

dumb bisexual 2: we're cousins

dumb bisexual 2: hol up ill text her

* * *

**Bobble Hat**

* * *

**Thursday, 2:10 pm**

Red Sole: bobble you gotta help me out here

Red Sole: okay so i sorta made a team groupchat w/ my team like you do

Red Sole: and uhhhh

Red Sole: double egg's taken away my adimn controls and he still has his and has started to spam cursed images on the chat

Red Sole: none of us has specs number so could you call him to ask him to get double egg to stop??

Red Sole: they live togehter and i know egg has a soft spot for him

Red Sole: pls?

Bobble Hat: Don't worry, just did! (o^^)o

Red Sole: thanks!!!

* * *

**X-Blood Chaos**

* * *

**Thursday, 2:15 pm**

egg: okay. i'll stop. r u guys happy now???

idiot lesbian: yes

dumb bisexual 2: very

rat guy: okay nvn i found some cleaning detegrent this should work about the same

idiot lesbian: vintage wait save some for me-

dumb bisexual 2: you guys no- 

**rat guy has left the chat**

**idiot lesbian has left the chat**

**dumb bisexual 2 has left the chat**

**egg has left the chat**


	8. ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

**Friday, 3 am**

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

rat guy: what the fuck

rat guy: go to sleep dumbass

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

idiot lesbian: double egg??? 

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ???

dumb bisexual 2: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

idiot lesbian: oh not you too

rat guy: well at least one squid here is still somewhat normal

idiot lesbian: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

idiot lesbian: wait what i didn't type that

idiot lesbian: whuwwwfefefe

idiot lesbian: i didn't type that etiher

idiot lesbian: double egg are you hacking my phone agai ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

rat guy: ...

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ yes

rat guy: oh so now you type something else

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

dumb bisexual 2: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ squit hge hacked my phione too

idiot lesbian: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ

rat guy: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ wait what

egg: ᒃⁱⁿᶢ╵ᵉ ᒃᴼᴼᶢ╵ᵉ >B) 


End file.
